I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
