I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
