you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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