The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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