that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
