No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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