This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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