Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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