Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
