What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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