whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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