Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
