He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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