ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
