a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
