So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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