just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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