Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
