i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
