i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
