Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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