Pappa wants mamma naked
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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