I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
