So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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