I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
