Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...