yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"