Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...

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(970): i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it... http://tfl.nu/aspw

Replies (4) Good night (601) Bad night (2860)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.

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(541): I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk. http://tfl.nu/yadf

Replies (16) Good night (7392) Bad night (945)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.

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(706): Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate. http://tfl.nu/5lpe

Replies (13) Good night (6057) Bad night (1179)
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(434): View more from Virginia

Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.

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(434): Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore. http://tfl.nu/10x7

Replies (11) Good night (4434) Bad night (1020)
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(248): View more from Michigan

5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.

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(248): 5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here. http://tfl.nu/lbo2

Replies (11) Good night (1024) Bad night (2521)
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(914): View more from New York

You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.

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(914): You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property. http://tfl.nu/9au5

Replies (14) Good night (5217) Bad night (983)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons

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(970): I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons http://tfl.nu/vc4y

Replies (10) Good night (1310) Bad night (2259)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet

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(252): it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet http://tfl.nu/si54

Replies (6) Good night (2239) Bad night (1396)
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(613): View more from Ontario

on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window

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(613): on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window http://tfl.nu/tz9a

Replies (2) Good night (2402) Bad night (1575)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr

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(507): Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr http://tfl.nu/hq3c

Replies (3) Good night (1116) Bad night (601)
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(555): View more from

Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone

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(555): Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone http://tfl.nu/9aqw

Replies (5) Good night (864) Bad night (416)
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(817): View more from Texas

He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.

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(817): He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before. http://tfl.nu/79xu

Replies (4) Good night (1046) Bad night (384)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.

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(306): we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads. http://tfl.nu/m4cs

Replies (1) Good night (991) Bad night (328)
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(347): View more from New York

my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs

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(347): my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs http://tfl.nu/7wjm

Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (266)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand

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(775): He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand http://tfl.nu/fp7g

Replies (2) Good night (736) Bad night (225)

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