Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.

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  (614): Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis. http://tfl.nu/937p
  Replies (25) Good night (2480) Bad night (845)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?

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  (978): Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before? http://tfl.nu/qhly
  Replies (28) Good night (676) Bad night (6291)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.

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  (770): separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles. http://tfl.nu/p09d
  Replies (36) Good night (6311) Bad night (809)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  I'm on my way.

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  (804): my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now. (1-804): I'm on my way. http://tfl.nu/8nvt
  Replies (28) Good night (7194) Bad night (956)
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  (707): View more from California

  I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on

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  (707): I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on http://tfl.nu/0k8v
  Replies (26) Good night (3054) Bad night (1117)
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  (516): View more from New York

  The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.

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  (516): The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right. http://tfl.nu/nc3r
  Replies (14) Good night (4181) Bad night (971)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes

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  (505): she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes http://tfl.nu/9qtj
  Replies (10) Good night (4561) Bad night (1062)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.

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  (914): I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life. http://tfl.nu/ku4v
  Replies (3) Good night (2480) Bad night (829)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.

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  (613): No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal. http://tfl.nu/2rsl
  Replies (6) Good night (1615) Bad night (1099)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius

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  (254): Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius http://tfl.nu/icdq
  Replies (11) Good night (1869) Bad night (888)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.

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  (304): You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate. http://tfl.nu/m6lj
  Replies (6) Good night (2344) Bad night (657)
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  (209): View more from California

  The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.

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  (209): The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be. http://tfl.nu/3gjr
  Replies (5) Good night (906) Bad night (408)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS

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  (978): I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS http://tfl.nu/o0md
  Replies (2) Good night (1051) Bad night (450)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day

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  (215): just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day http://tfl.nu/2xr8
  Replies (5) Good night (1245) Bad night (431)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Score one for dad.

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  (541): Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job. (503): Score one for dad. http://tfl.nu/kgah
  Replies (6) Good night (2064) Bad night (461)

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