I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's