she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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