Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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