Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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