i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize