All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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