she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
