Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize