Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
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Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Dick very happy bro
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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