its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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