Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
