Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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