1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
