I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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