Im at strip club and am horny
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
