1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
