...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
