Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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