why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
