I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize