If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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