This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You've changed since you got that strap on
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
