Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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