No subtext here. People are naked.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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