She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
