Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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