I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
