you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
