Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Vodka?
Forever.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
