I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
