when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
this beer tastes like vomit already
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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