I think i sorta joined a cult last night
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize