Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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