do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
