TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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