So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
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im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
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I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize