I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
