Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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