Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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