dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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