remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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